Common Mistake #3 Made by Therapists, Coaches, and Healers in Private Practice

In this series of posts, I have been sharing common mistakes smart, skillful therapists make in private practice. So far I’ve covered:
Mistake #1: NOT OWNING YOUR INNER ENTREPRENEUR (Click here to read about Mistake #1)
Mistake #2: NOT WORKING ON YOUR MONEY BLOCKS (Click here to read about Mistake #2)

And today, I’m talking about Mistake #3: RUNNING YOUR PRACTICE BASED ON FEAR, SCARCITY, GUILT, AND NEEDING TO PROVE YOUR WORTH.

I see therapists making the mistake of running their practice based on fear, scarcity, guilt, and needing to prove their worth on some level or another so often. And this is a bit different from the mistakes I’ve discussed so far, because the inner thoughts and feelings leading to running your practice based on fear, scarcity, guilt, and needing to prove your worth are often deeply rooted in subconscious, old programming, and they’re often core issues effecting many areas of your life.  But as therapists, we know we can work with our old programming and make changes in our behavior as a result.

Some therapists will easily identify themselves as doing these things on a regular basis.  Other people may have more subtle undercurrents of fear, scarcity, guilt, and needing to prove your worth. You may not even be aware of it or it may not seem to be getting in your way. But it's good to be curious and ask yourself, “Am I doing this? And if so, to what extent?” Because if it is something you're doing, even if it's a two on a scale of zero to 10, isn’t that something you’d want to go after?  What would your practice and life look like if it was a 0?  What if there was no fear? No scarcity? No guilt? No needing to prove anything?  In what ways would your practice look different if you didn’t have fear and scarcity or a need to prove something?  How would you show up differently?

When your practice is based on fear, scarcity, guilt, and needing to prove your worth, you tend to overgive and undercharge, both of which can leave you feeling drained, resentful, and not making the money you need or want to make.  Overgiving and undercharging also tend to lead to burnout and unsustainable business practices.
 
For therapists, overgiving tends to happen with time and energy, two very precious commodities. Below are ways overgiving as a result of fear, scarcity, guilt, and needing to prove your worth can show up in a practice:

• Giving away your time excessively in phone calls and emails
• Regularly going over time in sessions
• Spending hours dealing with insurance companies and billing issues rather than letting clients be responsible for some (or all) of it
• Spending lots of time looking for resources for clients (and for people who aren’t even clients)
• Not having solid boundaries. Not sticking to your no-show or late-cancellation policies or giving leeway every time someone gives you an excuse. 
• Overworking by scheduling more clients than you’d like to see in a week because of a fear/scarcity mindset
• Energetically overgiving, which can lead to feeling drained and tired at the end of the day or week. This is a complex issue, and it’s really important to recognize if it’s happening to you. 

Let’s look closer at each of these aspects individually.  I encourage you to reflect and rate on a scale of 0-10 how much each aspect is influencing your practice.  If it’s a true zero, awesome.  And if it’s higher than you want it to be, what can you do to start changing that?  Even if it’s a 1 or 2, it’s worth looking at and may be something you’d like to change.

FEAR AND SCARCITY


If you have fear and scarcity in your practice, you may be afraid there will not be enough clients (especially ideal clients), not enough money, and/or you’re not going to make it in private practice.  Fear and scarcity often cause people to shut down their practices (and definitely keep people from starting them in the first place).

Fear and scarcity can lead to undercharging because you don’t believe clients can or will pay you a higher fee.  You may believe clients will seek out a “better” or more affordable therapist if your rate is too high.

Fear and scarcity can also create feelings of competitiveness with other therapists, making it difficult to effectively build referral relationships.

Fear and scarcity lead to limiting and small thinking, small goals, and small possibilities.  It’s fine to genuinely want a small practice, but if you decide that’s what you want because you don’t believe more is possible for you, fear and scarcity may be an issue for you.

Anxiety and scarcity around money can result in seeing clients as “dollar signs” in subtle and sometimes not so subtle ways, which, if sensed, will be a turn off to clients, potential clients, and referral sources and can get in the way of creating an authentic, healing presence with our clients.

TO WHAT DEGREE IS FEAR AND SCARCITY IMPACTING YOUR PRACTICE? (0-10) 

GUILT

Guilt can show up in many ways and is often connected to undervaluing ourselves and our work. When we undervalue our work, we are much more likely to feel guilty about charging for it.  You may feel guilty about charging too much, so you keep your rates low or have “weird” energy around taking money from clients.  You may stay on low-paying insurance panels because you don’t want to deal with the guilt of telling clients you’ll no longer be in-network with their insurance. You may not charge for no shows or late cancellations out of guilt.

Guilt can lead us to make assumptions about our clients and what they may or may not be able to pay.  If we feel guilty, we may offer reduction in fees before they’ve even asked(!), and we may work hours we don’t want to work in order to accommodate clients.

Guilt can get in the way of the therapeutic relationship and turn clients off, lead to burnout, and it can definitely keep us from earning what we want to earn.

TO WHAT DEGREE IS GUILT IMPACTING YOUR PRACTICE? (0-10)

NEEDING TO PROVE YOUR WORTH

This is a biggie!  And it’s a painful issue.  If this is showing up in your practice, it’s probably been a long-standing issue in many areas of your life.  Issues around worth, deserving, and being good enough are usually thematic and part of the human experience.  But that doesn’t mean we can’t make progress on them.  The more we can work with them, the more our practice and our lives will transform.  And I believe, as therapists, we have a responsibility to work on these issues in ourselves in order to better serve our clients.

One of the ways this issue of needing to prove your worth can show up in your work is by creating a (probably unconscious) hidden agenda to having a successful private practice.  People think, “If I have a successful private practice, it will mean I can finally feel ______________(e. g. good enough, smart enough, successful, worthy, safe, secure),” or, “When I get there, I’ll finally prove_________ (e.g. I’m good enough, I’m valuable, they were wrong about me).”

When you have a hidden agenda like this, it is going to tend to make your life harder.  Hidden agendas will make you see challenges as bigger than they are.  Normal challenges will feel personal and sabotage you from working towards your goals.   You’re more likely to struggle with bigger highs and lows in your practice due to a tendency to take things personally and as a reflection of your worth.  For example, if a client doesn’t come back or if you have a slow month, you may experience that as personal rejection and as a reflection of your worth, which can keep you from effective problem solving. While it’s always good to reflect and refine your skills, that’s very different from taking things highly personally.

When you have a need to prove your worth, clients can often pick up on it, and it can be very off putting.   If you are depending on your practice to give you validation, even in subtle ways, it can become a dangerous cycle that gets in the way of the work that you want to do with clients.

TO WHAT DEGREE IS THE NEED TO PROVE YOUR WORTH IMPACTING YOUR PRACTICE? (0-10)

To your success!
Christina

P.S. Are you ready to let go of this old pattern of living with fear, scarcity, guilt, and needing to prove your worth?  Click here to schedule your complimentary Practice Accelerator Session where we’ll identify the three biggest obstacles getting in your way and the number one thing you can do to move forward.