Wecome to my third post on this series on goals. Today, I
want to talk more about resistance that can come up when we set a goal. And so many times, we are not even conscious
of the many layers of resistance. If we
don’t work with our resistance, it will stop us from taking action. But if we know what our resistance may be, we
can be on the look out for it and work with it when it arises.
So today I am going to share six types of resistance that
can come up when you set a goal. So, once again think about your income goal we
set in the other video, and if you didn’t see it, I’ll give you a minute to set
a monthly income goal—one that would easily cover all your expenses and bills
and also allow you and extra $500-1000 to spend as you’d like and $500-1000 to
put into savings each month. And as I go
through these six pieces of resistance, see if you recognize any of then in
regards to this goal. And I got this
from my mentor, Margaret Lynch, and her fabulous book Tapping Into Wealth.
1.
The
first one is what I addressed in the last video—the immediate belief about
whether your goal is even remotely possible.
We have lots of protective parts that don’t want us to get hurt, and if
they can’t see how we could reach our goal, they will step in to keep us from
even getting started, saying things, like, “It’s impssible.”
2.
The second piece of resistance is immediately
identifying someone or something outside
our selves that we believe is in our way.
Maybe it’s a competitor, the nature of the market, the structure of the
company you work for—for example, you’ve been promoted as far as seems possible
in your company. For me, it was a belief
that people in my field just don’t make that much money (this was also
programmed into me in grad school and trainings—it was a repeated joke that
people don’t get into the helping field for the money).
3.
The third piece of resistance is an immediate
arising and experience of feelings and
thoughts of a shortcoming you believe you have. So something inside of you (or missing from you)
that would hinder you from reaching your goal.
This can be really painful feelings and thoughts like, “I don’t have
what it takes. I’m not smart enough. I’m not good enough.”
4.
A fourth piece of resistance is your lack of time or energy that would make
it difficult to imagine doing more. Many
of us are already spread so thin or just trying to keep our heads above water
that a ton of resistance can come up when we think of doing anything bigger or
even changing what we’re doing. Another
layer of this resistance is typically a belief that says, to make that much
money it would have to be a struggle and I’d have to work that much longer
harder, and I just don’t have it in me.
5.
A fifth piece of resistance when you think about
a goal is having debt. Just having a
debt situation can overwhelm everything with a strong negative feeling and make
you feel very hopeless.
6.
And finally, the last piece of resistance I want
to mention is an immediate arising of, “I
have no idea how to make that goal a reality.” It can come from a doubtful, skeptical part
of us. And this resistance is actually
common for high achieving, intelligent people, who like to figure things out
before they even take the first step.
And they might say, “If I don’t’ know how to make this happen, then
having his goal doesn’t even make sense.
And it will be shut down right there.”
I don’t know about
you, but I really resonate with these piece.
There were times years ago my husband would be inspired and wanting us
to set goals, and he would throw out something that felt so outrageous to me
and so impossible, and this skeptical part of me would get annoyed and think,
how are we possibly going to do make that happen. Let’s live on the planet
earth and think about something more realistic.
And now I see that that was coming from this skeptical place in me and
really shutting me down to possibilities.
Because instead of coming up a plan and then setting the goal, if we set
the goal first and then let the plan emerge, we were really expanding our
possibilities and potential. And this
counterintuitive for a lot of us. For me it definitely was.
So those are 6 things I want you to be aware of that will
show up and get in the way when you set a goal.
And if you really want to commit to your goals and make these big
shifts, which is a journey and a process, I really encourage you to look out
for these things and be willing to address them. I mentioned tapping in my last post because it
is such a powerful tool that can very quickly shift your resistance. Just a couple of minutes of tapping can bring
down these pieces of resistance as they appear.
And in my next post I’m going to give you another example of how you can
use that to work with your resistance.
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